20 Summers
Last night I watched the last episode of the British show “Vera” with a bit of sadness. Actor Brenda Blethen, 78, decided to call time in order to — authentically — spend more time with family (and dog). “ . . . I came to realise I hadn't had a summer with my husband for 14 years. Naturally I missed my family. And my dog Jack, although he was with me in the North East, but I didn't see him much because I was working all day." she explained.
It reminded me of wisdom from another actor, Wendell Pierce of “The Wire” fame.
“At the age of 55, he feels the same biological anxiety as Willy Loman. ‘I got 20 summers left. That’s how I look at it now.’ He turns to an imagined aggressor: ‘At this stage of my life, I have 20 summers left. I’m not going to waste any time on you. .. wondering if your best days are behind you, trying to live a purposeful life . . . Like I said, I have 20 summers left. I have more days behind me than ahead of me.’”
https://www.ft.com/content/878c49d6-eed8-11e9-bfa4-b25f11f42901
And, do you ever have a tab open that has been there for months because you don’t know what to do with it? The post, “Why Don’t You F**king Retire Already?” by James Whittaker, ex-Google and many others, is like that for me. He writes, “None of us work to put food on the table. Not to put too fine a point on it, but our careers made us rich as fuck. Unless my colleagues have 7 to 8-figure financial needs I am unaware of, remaining in the workforce is a choice, not a necessity. And yet nearly all of them have made that choice.
“It’s a choice that clogs the advancement pipeline for younger people still in need of employment. It’s a choice that prevents newer, fresher ideas and perspectives from reaching positions of influence. It’s a choice that concentrates wealth where it isn’t needed.
I can’t delve into the minds of people who work beyond need or the specifics of their personal lives that make spending 40–60 hours a week away from said personal lives a desirable choice.”
https://medium.com/@docjamesw/why-dont-you-fucking-retire-already-3c47a039897c
Of course, independent means are not as prevalent as Whittaker says, he is talking only of the small slice of devs and other techies who made it big at unicorn companies. In fact, if you are reading this on LinkedIn, you are likely working because you have to, or looking for work because it is necessary for your livelihood. And if you are over 40, you are likely encountering ageism in hiring, making it even more an uphill struggle as smart writers like @Margaret McDonald inform us every day.
But, last night I watched Vera hang it up, and she left a note for her trusted subordinate Joe telling him “Time to spread those wings, pet”
If you are in or approaching the “20 Summers” zone, it might time to reassess where you put your energy. If you’re considering a change in course, #coaching can help. And if coaching can help, feel free to schedule time with me for a free consult.
“Why would we ever put you in a situation where you might fail?”
Did you know that the art of switch hitting is baseball is dying out? Every year there are fewer players in Major League ball who can do it. The decline is sharper among US players than Latin ones, because in the US players and coaches are afraid of failures that could make a player look bad, or reflect on a coach’s reputation should it cost them the game.
Is there a change you would like to make in your life, but hesitate because you don’t want to look unskilled, foolish, or maladept? Is saving face becoming more important than changing with the times?
Magic questions from Dr. Gabor Maté:
How does this benefit you?
What does it cost you?
If you would like help and support in making a change in your life, consider engaging a coach. Feel free to ask me any questions.
Why take coaching? Well, it could help you live longer, for one.
A signpost with multiple hand-lettered arrows pointing the way to various destinations.
A signpost with multiple hand-lettered arrows pointing the way to various destinations.
"Overall, the results demonstrate that purpose in life is a robust predictor of mortality, and thus a key dimension of well-being to attend to as people age ...
"a sense of purpose could become an increasingly important coping factor as people age. Some research has suggested that purpose in life can decline as people get old, while Hicks et al. showed that when people experience they have little time left, they draw more meaning from the present moment. Thus, helping people to retain a sense of purpose in life even when they get old could be an important factor to attend to and strengthen."
Read more here: To Live Longer, Find Your Purpose in Life